Response to Draft 1 Paper 1

The summary of the Time Magazine article, written by Nicole, was extremely adequate. I believe it was well written and got the point of the article across. The only qualm I may have with her summary is the fact that she seems to infer a few ideas when summarizing the article. She says, "Before we had to stand by and watch as these very few, powerful individuals made the decisions for us. We had to sit by and know that our voice was not being heard. But now thanks to the internet we have a voice." Although I may agree that the article could have lead one to infer this, the article does not implicitly state it. Over all though, I thought it was a good summary.

The argument Nicole makes is that the internet is contributing to the obesity of America. However she also makes the argument that the internet has become a hindrance to people's social lives. Therein lies the problem I have with her argument. There is more than one argument she focuses on. Although the two may be connected, I believe she would have been better off focusing on one issue. She does provide evidence for her arguments, but most of the arguing she does herself, instead of finding evidence or support for her ideas. Perhaps if only one argument had been her focus, more evidence and support could have been found.

Nicole is the kind of person who likes to go to the beach. She seems to be very easygoing or relaxed. She is very personable and is up for meeting anyone.